Today's Dare
Purposefully neglect an activity you would normally do so you can spend quality time with your spouse. Do something he or she would love to do or a project they'd really like to work on. Just be together.For the last few days, our son has been sick with pneumonia and a double ear infection so I have literally been house bound in my sweats nursing him back to health with little to no sleep, so I haven't been able to read and write as much as I would like. Today, my husband stopped by my house to hang out for a bit, check on our son and we watched a movie and he left. Pretty simple, didn't talk much. Just being around each other...I keep reminding myself, it's baby steps. So my dare was accomplished!
I wanted so badly to cuddle with him on the couch how we used to, the way our bodies fit perfectly together and just be...Instead, we're sitting on separate couches and yearning for that closeness. (well, atleast I am)
I don't know what goes through his mind when we're around each other because he's very withdrawn. My mind is always racing the minute he is in my vicinity and I have butterflies in my stomache. (I feel like I'm in high school and crushing on the varsity football player that doesn't know I exist, haha!) Wanting so badly to just hug and kiss him and hold him close...but instead, we give a casual hug goodbye, the same you would give an aquaintance you don't know well. It's gotten less awkward though. Haha!
I hate it. It kills me. I long for him so much and miss seeing his face first thing in the morning waking up next to me.
I remind myself everyday that this is a part of the process that God is having me go through. Stripping me of my wants, my comfort, my life. Not letting me get comfortable. To rely on My God fully. To look to Him to receive the love I need.
http://www.klove.com/blog/post/2010/01/19/Love-Dare-Day-14.aspx
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