Love Dare: Day 17 Love Promotes Intimacy

Today's Dare

Determine to guard your mate's secretes (unless they are dangerous to them or you) and to pray for them.  Talk with your spouse, and resolve to demonstrate love in spite of these issues.  Really listen to them when they share personal thoughts and struggles with you.  Make them feel safe.

   It's funny that today was the intimacy chapter because a HUGE step forward was accomplished today. I went to his house for the 2nd day in a row to clean and just help out with whatever house things I could while he wasn't feeling well. I was there for a few hours and he went out to lunch with a close friend of ours. When he returned, he looked different. He looked lighter!

Then, out of nowhere while I was cleaning up in the kitchen, he came up to me and gave me a hug, a kiss then kissed my forehead and told me that he was really sorry for being so withdrawn from me.

I was in complete shock that he: 1. Initiated a hug and kissed me! 2. Actually apologized for being closed up and withdrawn. I just hugged him back tightly and told him it was ok and I forgive him. There was a million things running through my head and a million questions I wanted to ask, but I refrained from saying anything else. After he walked away, I was standing by the sink with the cleaning towel in my hand and I just prayed silently to God. I thanked Him so much for letting his heart start to heal and let some of his walls down. I was so excited inside that I could barely restrain the happiness that was filling my heart. I saw the light in my husbands eyes and it was beautiful!

   Todays dare is to guard your mates secrets and to pray for them. Listen to them and make them feel safe. We didn't talk a whole lot, but actions speak louder than words. I know he is finally allowing God to start healing his heart and letting his guard down. It wasn't on my time, it is on God's time.

   After having a really bad week just recently and feeling like I failed, this was the confirmation that I needed that God is doing His work, even when we can't see it. I see things unfolding before my eyes that God had planned so He could mold me and make me only rely on His strength and not my own. I had so many doubts, was so discouraged and thought it was hopeless at times. That I could never show my husband enough love for him to CHOOSE to love me back. I have been reminding him since we separated that I don't want a divorce and that I'm not giving up on him or our marriage. God is on our side and as long as I'm doing the Lords will, I can't go wrong and I will win.

  Reading deeper into this chapter, it's more than just physical intimacy that they're talking about it. It's the relationship between a husband and wife as a whole. They say, "Marriage is the most intimate of all relationships." To find someone that will love you despite your imperfections, weaknesses and baggage. To be honest, I felt like I came into our marriage carrying suitcases of "baggage". He had a lot of his own as well. We both had to learn quickly to deal with each other's loads....it wasn't easy at all and some of it is why we are where we are today. Separated. We didn't communicate well, didn't pour into each other and be our spouses #1 cheerleader when the going got tough. We ended up being on different teams and fighting against one another. It didn't happen overnight, it happened over years. The intimacy, trust and connection was gone and we were bloodied and bruised from all the hurt we caused each other from the long battle. The person we were the most "naked" and vulnerable with caused us the most immeasurable pain we had ever experienced from another human being and we didn't know if we could ever heal because the pain was so deep.
   Now is the time to work on the healing. It's painful, but necessary. It's going to take a lot of time and there will be mistakes again, because we are imperfect humans, but I so strongly believe that God will make us each stronger people and more humble servants to each other and to our Lord.

  Here is a song that has been really inspiring, Reminding me of our purpose.

Sanctus Real -Whatever You're Doing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iN9J8eqKovY

http://www.klove.com/BLOG/post/2010/01/22/Love-Dare-Day-17.aspx