Today's Dare
Talk with your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement. If your mate is not ready for this, then write out your own personal rules to "fight" by. Resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs.Conflicts in marriage are inevitable. After last weeks catastrophes, I knew those were tests of what I've learned so far. I felt like I failed and was disappointed in both of us. Being this chapter is about fighting fair, I knew there was huge lessons to learn how to move forward from this. God is always doing something in the conflict.
Here is an excerpt from this chapter that I re-read a few times and meditated on:
"The deepest, most heartbreaking damage you'll ever do (or have ever done) to your marriage will most likely occur in the thick of conflict. That's because this is when your pride is strongest. Your anger is hottest. You're the most selfish and judgmental. Your words contain the most venom. You make the worst decisions."
A marriage can be great one day and take a nose dive the next and before you know it, it's out of control. This chapter helps you set up "boundaries" for when those times occur. I gave my husband a copy of this chapter and had written down that 2 of my personal boundaries would be to 1. extend grace to him (forgive, let things go & cut him some slack) and 2. be empathetic (try to see things from his point of you). These are things I hope he grants to me as well, because we all deserve both.
I brought my Bible to work yesterday so I could read during my lunch break and God sent me a VERY clear message about failure. I was actually really surprised about how many times he talks about failure and not giving up.
Here are some "go to" verses that really stood out to me and hopefully will help you during those times of constant stumbling. Remember that God never let's go....
-"For though the righteous fall seven times, they rise up again." (Proverbs 24:16)
- "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my forever portion. (Psalm 73:26)
-"The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in Him; he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with His hand." (Psalm 37:23-24)
I love how God reminds us that even the righteous will will stumble and fall down, but we were never meant to stay down. We teach this lesson to our children when they are young and fall on the playground...and have to keep reminding ourselves this lesson as adults.
In getting up, we are choosing to move past the struggle and hurt. We are never going to be perfect. We need to accept our weaknesses and become more dependent on God's strength, not our own.
This past week He has reminded me that I am a work in progress. That I am a woman that is BECOMING all He wants me to be. I am growing and I am not perfect. I am not where I want to be, but I am further than I was....
http://www.klove.com/blog/post/2010/01/18/Love-Dare-Day-13.aspx
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