Today's Dare
Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin by making a list of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.Today was a pretty positive day. I woke up early and got into the word right way, turned on my tv while getting ready for the day and the first thing that was on was a church sermon about "Not giving up". I thought was pretty ironic and funny! It was such I great message, I posted it here on my blog for you all to watch as well, earlier today.
Today's dare is about being irritable and how we choose to act in situations. I won't lie, writing the lists above that it requests, is a little difficult for me because we live apart. I'm not exactly sure where I can give more margin, maybe more space that he has been requesting of me. I definitely have some wrong motivations that I need to release...control of situations is a major one. Another is trying to fix things MY way right away. I get obsessive about it, if it's not fixed or I can't do anything about the situation right then, I get really upset and feel like I'm losing control. I think that's why it's taken me so long in my Christian walk to REALLY trust in Him and believe whole-heartedly that it's ok to let go, because God is in complete control and surrendering to that. Being content in it.
To top that off, the message at church today was about anger. They go hand in hand. I have lost my temper so many times in my marriage! Speaking out of anger and hurt. The hurtful words are coming out of my mouth before I even think about how much it's going to affect my spouse. Human nature tells us to "get back" at the person that hurt us. It's the impulsive reaction of trying to get back at the other person and making them hurt as much as we are hurting. Voices are raised to get our point across to the other person. In reality, it just makes the recipient of your yelling "shut down" to not receive anything. There is no communication of talking and listening. It's just pure PRIDE and EGO. Thinking we are the one in the right and they are wrong. When we focus so much on our hurt feelings, it becomes nearly impossible to think clearly or logically. So we say and do things we don't mean and regret.
We are ALL guilty of this.
I learned today that anger is a God given emotion. Anger is evidence of love and proves we care. We are rarely taught how to properly manage our anger though. We act out in the way we were shown as children, our parents are our first examples. What a huge responsibility that is as a parent!
One thing my pastor said today that I really loved and laughed a little bit about is,
"You can't put your foot in your mouth, when it's closed."
That's so true! Think before you speak, it's so much easier said than done!
In the bible, God talks about and teaches us a lot about anger and irritability. He knows this is something we ALL struggle with as imperfect humans.
Here are some examples:
-Hot tempers cause arguments (proverbs 15:18)
-Anger causes mistakes (proverbs 14:29)
-people with hot tempers, do foolish things (proverbs14:17)
-Don't provoke your family in anger or you will have nothing left (proverbs 11:29
- Control your tongue, be careful about what you say (psalm 141:3 & proverbs 20:1)
-Talk low and slow, releasing anger appropriately (Ephesians 4:26)
3 things to ask ourselves when we're irritable and angry:
1. Why am I feeling this way?
2. What do I really want? (What is not being fulfilled?)
3. How can I get it?
http://www.klove.com/blog/post/2010/01/11/Love-Dare-Day-6.aspx
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