Today's Dare
Do something out of the ordinary today for your spouse - something that proves (to you and to them) that your love is based on your choice and nothing else. Wash her car. Clean the kitchen. Buy his favorite dessert. Fold the laundry. Demonstrate love to them for the sheer joy of being their partner in marriage.For today's dare I did a pretty simple task. My husband and I had to take our son to Oakland Children's hospital today because he tested positive for Celiac Disease, (so be prepared to see lots of gluten free recipes on here!) so I just made us all lunch to take with us. That's what he requested. I read over this chapter a few times because it really resonated with me.
Here is an excerpt from the chapter:
"If someone were to ask you, "Why do you love you husband/wife?" -what would you say?
Most of us would start listing of tons of attributes like, beautiful, kind, great cook, good parent, great personality, etc...
But what if over the course of the years your spouse stopped being those things. Would you still love them? Your logical response would be "no". If your reasons for loving your spouse all have something to do with his or her qualities, then those same qualities suddenly or gradually disappear-your basis for love is over.
The only way love can last a lifetime is if it's unconditional love. The truth is this: love is not determined by the one being loved, but rather by the one choosing to love. If a man says to his wife, "I have fallen out of love with you," he is actually saying, "I never loved you unconditionally to begins with." His love was based on feelings or circumstances rather than a commitment. "
Wow! That is a hard pill to swallow! But it is often the hard truth. We are in a world where we are taught that we deserve instant gratification and if we don't receive that, then something's wrong. We don't want to put in the hard, strenuous, emotionally draining work it takes to REALLY make a marriage survive, or we say we tried for awhile and it just didn't work, so we give up and get a divorce. We do it because we think we deserve better and think we can get better. (Grass is greener on the other side...sound familiar?) Now, I'm not saying don't ever get a divorce, God gives us a clear reason why divorce or separation is accepted (adultery and abuse). But, he also tells us how to treat each other in a marriage (with love and respect). When we go against that, the marriage starts to fall apart and then we sit here wondering what went wrong...
I have gotten the same marriage advice from ever married couple I know....it's constant hard work! It's harder than anything you will ever do, but you need to remind yourself why you married your spouse and they are worth the fight! That's what finding and marrying your one and only is about, not the fairy tale...but wanting to fight for that person through all the crap that life is going to throw you. We all have a different story and different struggles, but we all have the same God loving us all equally and forgiving us for being imperfect.
Let's learn to love our spouse the way Christ loves us...unconditionally.
http://www.klove.com/blog/post/2010/01/15/Love-Dare-Day-10.aspx
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