Love Dare: Day 30 Love Brings Unity

Todays Dare:
Isolate one area of division in  your marriage, and look on today as a fresh opportunity to pray about it.  Ask the Lord to reveal anything in your own heart that is threatening oneness with your spouse.  Pray that He would do the same for them.  And if appropriate, discuss this matter openly, seeking God for unity.


  This has been a very difficult chapter for me to get through, because we have little to no unity as a couple anymore. We have lived apart for 4months and it has been a roller coaster of emotions in our relationship. We get along for a short period of time and then we are back to fighting. The sad thing is,it always begins with something so small, that snowballs into something bigger and before you know it, we're fighting about it for days. Not unified at all.

   The past month for me has been extremely emotional and very difficult. I had multiple stressful events with my family happen and I felt like the rug was pulled from under me and I completely lost focus on the work on myself and my marriage. I won't lie, I got angry with God. I didn't understand why these things were happening and all the work I put into my marriage was crumbling. We're becoming distant toward one another...again. I let the emotional trauma I was going through consume me. I felt so alone in my struggle because I felt like I couldn't turn to him with every hurt I was feeling and he was the only one I wanted to turn to. I wanted him to hold me and tell me it was going to be ok and that he loves me. There was no way to fix it, but I just wanted to feel reassurance, safe, and loved through my brokenness and sorrow.

   In this chapter of unity it asks a number of questions and to ask The Lord to reveal anything in your own heart that is threatening oneness with your spouse. Well, first off, there a ton of things threatening oneness in our relationship, so where do I start?! I think right now at this moment would be our communication.We text...ALOT! We use that as our form of communication and it has caused us so many ugly fights. We are a lot more daring in our words through text than we are face to face. We bully each other a lot more and are less likely to hold back and a lot quicker to respond out of anger. We don't hear each other out and aren't empathetic to the other persons side. We also have 2 completely different personalities  and the way we do things in our daily lives. But we both have very strong, dominant personalities, which makes us clash often. I know I have major control issues, but God calls my husband to lead. This has always been a great struggle for me and I'm a work in progress on that issue. The control issue is probably my biggest personal issue that derails  our oneness. I know he has his own as well and I just have to continue to pray that God will heal our hearts on our separate struggles, so that we can become more united in our marriage.
 
   I find myself so desperate for reassurance because  I'm feeling so broken...again. Through my daily struggles, I'm finding out more and more how brokenness is a universal struggle for all of us. We desperately want someone to help us pick up the pieces of our lives, especially when it's shattered all around us. Noone can ever "fix" everything in our lives. I'm constantly being reminded that these are the times when we have to seek God. He is our healer.
 In Jeremiah 31:3, The Lord says, "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness."

Our spouses will never complete us. We will never complete them.
It takes COMPLETE SURRENDER to have COMPLETE UNITY.
When we give up the control, the oneness binds stronger. This is my daily struggle, a constant tug of war between myself and God.
May this be a reminder to myself and to you- always look up in the brokenness.
He will never fail us.



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