Today's Dare:
Before you see your spouse again today, pray for them by name and for their needs. Whether it comes easy for you or not, say "I love you", then express love to them in a tangible way. Go to God in prayer again, thanking Him for giving you the privilege of loving this one special person-unconditionally, the way He loves both of you.
For the past week, we have been in a negative place. I have made several attempts to talk some things out and it's not been easy to reconcile. Especially when we both feel discouraged. I have asked him for his responses for dares 27 & 28, but haven't received them yet. I'm just going to keep on focusing on the work God is doing in me and when he's ready, he will give them to me. I have been having a lot of trouble finding motivation and inspiration to do things to demonstrate love toward him, especially when I feel so discouraged on a regular basis, but I know that God is calling me to keep going and not give up, no matter how long it takes me to get through this. I'm not giving up! I know he feels like I'm not trying hard enough and not keeping focused on what I need to do on a regular basis, but atleast I'm putting in effort. Some days, it's the most challenging thing in the world to do and I guess that's why the dares keep getting harder and take longer to do. This is not something you have to take 40 days to do just because there are 40 dares. I'm learning to take my time, especially when I have so much going on emotionally and from every angle of my life.
I also just found out on very short notice, that I'm going to be baptized this Sunday! I have been wanting this to happen for soooo long and God had perfect timing during this journey! I had a one day notice to write out my testimony and it was incredibly difficult, but I got it in! I'm really nervous for people to hear my struggles and fear of judgement. But I know that this is part of the process of Gods healing. I will post the video as soon as I get it.
God has been opening up so many doors for me, all within a couple weeks, it's been pretty amazing seeing all the things that God has been working on behind the scenes. I will also be starting to volunteer and go through training to become an advocate at a pregnancy center for young women in our city. I will be speaking with them when they come in and helping them with whatever needs they have. It's a great opportunity to share the Lord with young girls since it is a Christian based ministry pregnancy center, which is great! It will be an awesome experience and I'm blessed to get the opportunity to do it. I had a chance to sit down with the lead pastor of our church as well and let him know what's been going on with me and let him know what Gods been putting on my heart. I told him that I found a huge need for more counseling for women at our church. This is something many other women have also told me that they have felt our church has needed for along time. We talked for a really long time about a lot of different things, but I was so happy to hear that our church has lot of changes happening in the next couple years and a counseling ministry has been on their hearts for a long time as well and it is on their list of things to come! I was so happy he took the time out of his busy schedule to just sit down and listen and encourage me further!
I'm still struggling with a lot of issues that I have from my past and pray everyday for God to help heal those hurts and help me let them go, I know it's a slow healing process and one not worth giving up on. I need to rely on God for my needs. Not others.
I know we have days that we aren't on the best of terms, but I bought him flowers in hopes that that would cheer him up a little and have told him a few times in person that I love him. I'm still trying not to have any expectations for anything, but it's difficult. Im a needy person (aren't we all?!). I continue to pray for us and that we can work through our struggles the right way, with Christ being our center.
http://www.klove.com/blog/post/2010/02/03/Love-Dare-Day-29.aspx
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