God has other plans...a lesson in humility and TRUST.

    I recently accepted a volunteer position at a local pregnancy center to start training to become an advocate (counselor) for women that have unplanned pregnancies. I felt really strongly that God was leading me there and the door was wide open for me on this, so i prayed about it for weeks before making the decision to act on it. At this same time, I have also accepted another position leading a women's ministry group at church that I was personally asked to take over. I knew both of these opportunities would be a huge emotional investment on top of the emotional stress of being separated from my husband.

    I have been so excited & eager to go through this training to help other women, because I have a huge heart to give. I feel I have a lot of life experience and a lot to offer in this opportunity and I could be a great asset to the center. That's why I felt God was pulling me toward there. I had just finished up Dare 33, which talks about getting counsel and perspective from your spouse and working together in making decisions, but ultimately the husband has the responsibility to make the final decision for his family. This is something I didn't do in this case. I TOLD him what I was doing instead of ASKING his thoughts about it. So 2 days ago, he sent me a very long text and explained to me in a very loving way that, even though I was very excited about this opportunity, he didn't think I was emotionally ready to do it at this time, (with everything else going on). He didn't think I would be able to give the girls what they needed when Me myself still had a lot of things I had to straighten out at home and in my own relationship. He asked me not to respond and just pray about it and really seek God's guidance in this decision.

     Well, after just earlier that day I had apologized to him for not allowing him to always take the lead in our family and fighting with him on decisions and trying to do things my way, I knew the Holy Spirit was speaking through him. It was an opportunity for me to put aside what I wanted and desired and follow my husbands advice. Especially, if I really meant what I said to him just earlier that day. God was giving me an opportunity to show him that I TRUSTED him and that I needed to learn to be humble in it.

      So yesterday, I went to his house in the morning before I headed off to my first day volunteering at the center, to talk to him about it. I told him my thoughts and that I really felt that was a place God was leading me but if he REALLY thinks I'm not ready to take on the training right away, then I wouldn't do it. He said, "Its not that I don't want you to do it, just not at this moment, so maybe later. Take it slow." We came up with the compromise that I could still volunteer at the center, but start slow- doing just stuff around the office or whatever they need help with and feel it out. Then later on, when I'm ready I can start the training process and start working one on one with the clients. This isn't initially what I wanted, but I knew I had to trust his decision.
    I headed to the center, spoke with the Director about my change of plans and explained to her why. Since its a Christian based center, she completely understood where I was coming from. She said no problem and that she has lots of projects that need to get done. then while I was there, a client called and the director answered the phone. The client informed her that her baby has passed away....
The director was spiritually prepared, said her condolences and prayed with her. I knew right then that my husband was right! If I would've answered that phone, I would've lost it emotionally. It was a hard realization that I needed to learn humility and that I wasn't as ready as I thought I was. This is sometimes a really hard lesson to learn. Especially when we want to always think that we know whats best for us. My husband allowed the Holy Spirit to work through him and confront me on something that I desired so badly. It could've ended horribly and I could've said, "No, I"m going to do it MY way!" Instead, i had to learn to be humble and trust that my husband has a great responsibility to lead me in Gods way. I need to be obedient to allow the trust and love to be rebuilt in our marriage.